Getting That Urge

Late last week, I wrote about how much I hate exit interviews. About working in a job that I despised. Not finding any way to be fulfilled. How much it drained every ounce of energy that I had. It drained all the passion out of my body and I was going to take some time to find it again. Shortly after I said those words, through some type of therapy, I started to get an urge. An urge that I had not felt in a very long time. The urge to create. I felt it growing it. And it excited me.

I wanted to write. I have not written a single creative word in roughly two-and-a-half years. When I talk about writing, I am not talking about a blog post or reviews for one of my existing sites. I am talking about writing a screenplay again. I have had a story in my head, based on a real historical event, but it had been on the back of my mind for a few years now.

I tried to work on it. Read some books. Watched some documentaries about the subject. Although, it never seemed to measure up to what I thought in my mind. So, I let it sit for a bit and thought I could work on something else. There were many failed attempts to write something else but many of them never got past page five. Then I got my last job and that killed any ounce of creativity that I had.

A few days after leaving that place, I took a couple of days to figure out what happened. Why I chose to leave. Simply wrap my head around the whole situation. I eventually came to terms with it when I wrote my last post. It seemed that the weight of the world had been lifted from my shoulders and I was able to think again. Somehow, the first thought I had was about that story I had not touched in so many years.

Like in Superman: The Movie, I felt that book I read was calling to me. Like a glowing beacon. Wanting me to see my future and spur my creativity. Okay, maybe that is a bit over dramatic but this is my blog and I will write however I feel.

I brushed the thin layer of dust that had accumulated on the cover. Sticking out of the side were post-it bookmarks and on those marked pages were highlighted portions that I wanted to reference when writing. Granted I knew a majority of the story but instead of writing from what I remembered, I chose to open it and re-read the book.

As I read, I began to see scenes in my head. Dialogue. Descriptions and directions. Even a cast. Realizing that I will have to use the actual person but the protagonist would have to be a fictional character made up of various real-life characters to bring a full thread through the entire story. A cat and mouse game, if you will.

A spark of energy and excitement shot through my body. The more excited I got, the more pages I read until the wee hours of the morning.

It was then I realized just how much my last job crushed my passion. Even though being at that job for 8 hours a day, it still managed to dominate my life. Drained me of my love. Prevented me from doing something that excited me. Last week, when I asked if I made the right decision. This confirmed it. I made the best decision of my life.


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